Anna Friel is the latest beauty to fall for Rhys Ifans - the least hunky man in showbiz
The pot belly thats what first did it for me. Oh, and those skinny, pasty arms. Here was a man who was not gay, nor a preening, self-obsessed idiot, and who would be so grateful to get a girlfriend he would be generous and imaginative in the bedroom. What Hollywood doesnt understand, but what women do, is that we will more often than not find the physically-challenged guy more appealing than the dream boat.So, when Rhys Ifans appeared at that famous Notting Hill front door wearing a saggy, dingy pair of Y-fronts, in a body that meant he would worship you rather than himself, he sealed his destiny not only as a big star, but also as catnip for women fed up with men who spend more time in the bathroom than we do.
Magic moment: Rhys Ifans in Notting HillWhy, oh why, did Julia Roberts fall instead for Hugh Grant in the dreadful movie Notting Hill when she could have had his best friend, Rhys? The Welsh accent should have been enough, reminiscent of Richard Burton and Tom Jones...Rhys Ifans has just been spotted, clad only in a dressing gown, leaving the home of the latest in a string of beautiful conquests in the early hours.
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Latest squeeze: Anna Friel was pictured leaving Rhys Ifans' house early in the morningSurely, this could have been only Rhys! After all, every other man in LA uses hairspray and has airbrush tans and pedicures.The unique charms of Ifans have landed him a series of knock-out girlfriends over the years including designer Kimberly Stewart and actress Sienna Miller (Im sure the latter became bored of being knocked in the boobs by Jude Laws enormous man bag). The lovely Anna met him when they started filming Peter Pan prequel Neverland in September 2010.And while a quick vox pop of my female friends produced a rather mixed response as to whether they would actually date Rhys themselves (I love the way women always put a great deal of thought into deciding whether or not they would date a famous person; as a child, I spent months agonising over whether I preferred Steve McQueen or Paul Newman, having just seen The Towering Inferno), they all agreed he seemed to have a kind face and a cheerful disposition surely two attributes that far outweigh having a chiselled film-star profile. Yes, Rhys can look like a vagrant and is a self-confessed hellraiser. But the key thing is that he doesnt take himself too seriously. He once quipped that he had been on a roller coaster since he left the womb. What an irresistible attitude to life. Those friends of mine who turned their noses up at the idea of a date with this bona-fide movie star, who is obviously solvent, clearly havent been hurt enough by good-looking, preening, narcissistic men.In which case, I would refer them to a recent interview with Jefferson Hack, the father of Kate Mosss daughter, a magazine publisher and style guru who is so handsome and impeccably groomed he seems to confine himself to dating models surely, the only breed of woman who might ! find him fascinating.Would you really, seriously, date a man who says he is wearing the following: White Christian Dior sneakers, skinny jeans by Nudie, grey Dior polo shirt with a white-striped collar, grey check vintage gentlemans woollen scarf with stitched-in pleats, tight round the neck black mohair sweater, spotted socks by Paul Smith and white underpants by Turnbull & Asser. Dear God, arent Rhys Ifanss dingy Y-fronts suddenly rocketing in their appeal? No wonder Kate eventually dumped this preening peacock for the decidedly grungier Jamie Hince.
Romantically linked: Rhys Ifans dated Sienna Miller in 2008I married a man with a beautiful face and look where it got me! Cuckolded, betrayed, divorced! His eyes were so clear and large, they merely acted as mirrors for my own shortcomings. His addiction to yoga meant he always went to sleep at 8pm. I am now dating a man who would readily admit he is not a trend-setter. He has no fashion sense, preferring to wear jumbo cords and an anorak. He hasnt gone jogging since 1983. But he is kind, funny and, most important of all, he has a twinkle in those tiny eyes. Good-looking men always cheat. They cheat on you while they are at the peak of their powers, because other women will throw themselves at them. And they will cheat on you when their hair recedes and they need Botox, because they need the affirmation that they have not lost their looks. You cannot win with good-looking men. They misplace your tweezers. They were treated as little gods by their mothers and, therefore, cannot change a fuse or a duvet cover.No intelligent, funny, helpful-in-the-kitchen man ever looks like David Beckham.
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