She's Miss Fancy Pants: After the wrath of the mother-in-law, now the fury of the bride-to-be's father

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It promises to be some wedding.
Carolyn Bourne, 60, launched the first salvo by sending her future daughter-in-law an email criticising her staggering uncouthness and lack of grace.
Yesterday the father of bride-to-be Heidi Withers hit back, branding Mrs Bourne a snotty Miss Fancy Pants.

Family-to-be at war: Alan Withers (left) has said his family call Carolyn Bourne (right) 'Miss Fancy-Pants' and say they do not like her 'snotty' attitude saying 'she thought she was better than us'

In the stinging repost, Alan Withers, 64, said the renowned horticulturist has her head stuck so far up her own a*** she doesnt know whether to speak or f**t.
And although Mrs Bourne appears fastidious about social mores, it emerged yesterday that she may have become pregnant some months before her first marriage in 1974, according to public records.
She is also now on her third marriage.

Happier times: Heidi Withers and her fiancee Freddie Bourne are reeling after the venomous message sent by Mrs Bourne bemoaning Heidi's manners

Confused: Heidi Withers (pictured) still wants to marry Freddie Bourne despite his step-mother's abuse towards herThe astonishing war of words began afterMiss Withers, 28, and her fianc Freddie Bourne, 29, spent the weekend at the home of his father Edward and stepmother Carolyn in April.Incensed by her future daughter-in-lawsapparent lack of manners, Mrs Bourne sent her an email listing all her faults. She then sent it twice more to ensure it arrived.In the attack ! she told Miss Withers she should attend a finishing school in utmost haste to get rid of her bad manners.
She went on to describe her as an ideal candidate for the Ladette to Lady television series.
Stunned Miss Withers, a PA for a London recruitment firm, sent it on to a select group of friends.
However, the email was forwarded to others and has now been read by millions on the internet.
Speaking from the 450,000 family home in Ledbury, Herefordshire, Mr Withers, 64, said he would never forgive Mrs Bourne for sending the email.
Heidi was very upset and the two of them obviously dont see eye to eye, he added.
I met Carolyn and her husband Edward for dinner at a pub in London last year.
Edward was a jovial chap but Carolyn was quite snotty. She had a look about her which made us think she thought she was better than us. She kept talking about her five horses and how it made her part of the Queens set.

Etiquette guide: Renowned flower arranger Carolyn Bourne, right, gave her future daughter-in-law a stern dressing down via e-mail. She is pictured here at a plant show in Coventry with her husband Edward

Ever since that meeting we call her Miss Fancy Pants. I dont care if she apologises. You cant take back what has been said once its said.
In the email, Mrs Bourne accused MissWithers of poor table manners, insulting the family in public and failing to send a handwritten card to say thank you after her stay.
She even said her behaviour had left their pet dog Bomber profoundly upset, depressed and anxious.
FreddieBourne is getting married to Miss Withers in an 18,000 ceremony in thegreat hall of Berkeley Castle in Gloucestershire in October.
Mrs Bournetold Miss Withers that her decision to get married in a castle smacks of brash, celebrity style behaviou! r.
Sh e went on to criticise Miss Withers parents for failing to contribute very much money towards the wedding.Mr Withers said: The reason we have been unable to contribute as much money was because we both lost our jobs. I doubt Carolyn was aware of that when she sent the email. We were unceremoniously got rid of without warning in January and have been searching for jobs ever since.
His wife Sylvia, 60, has since found work as a matron in a care home but he is still looking for work.
I have no desire to meet Carolyn or Edward again before or after the wedding, Mr Withers added.
They dont know us and we dont know them. Of course at the wedding we will shake hands and toast Heidi and Freddie.
The young couple met three years ago through mutual friends and soon became close, enjoying a trip to America in 2009.
They live in a flat with a shihtzu dog called Whisky in the affluent district of Parsons Green in South-west London.
Freddie has an office nearby where he runs an online bike shop.
A source close to the couple said: Its not going to be a Jordan wedding with all that kind of pumpkin carriages and tack.
They are middle-class people with middle-class respectabilities.
Its not like theyre taking over the entire castle in some vulgar show of excess. Theres a great hall thats available and thats where theyre having it.
They wanted to have as much of a dream wedding as possible. They heard about Berkeley Castle and it was available to book, so why not? Its such a lovely setting.
Thesource added: Freddie is an absolutely charming guy and Heidi is an absolute sweetie. Ive never heard a bad word said about either of them.None of their friends can believe whats been said about Heidi.
Rudeand unpleasant are the last things youd say about her. The view of people who know them is that the problem lies with the mother in law.

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Mrs Bo! urne, 60 , sent the e-mail to after she was less than impressed with her etiquette when she visited her Devon home in AprilThe couple declined to comment on the row yesterday.
Mrs Bourne and her husband Edward confirmed they were well aware of the criticism by Heidis father but still planned to go to the wedding.
When asked if she thought it may be awkward, Mrs Bourne laughed: We will see.

MRS BOURNE'S GUIDE TO GOOD MANNERS

It is high time someone explained to you about good manners. Yours are obvious by their absence and I feel sorry for you.
Unfortunatelyfor Freddie, he has fallen in love with you and Freddie being Freddie, Igather it is not easy to reason with him or yet encourage him to consider how he might be able to help you. It may just be possible to get through to you though. I do hope so.
Ifyou want to be accepted by the wider Bourne family I suggest you take some guidance from experts with utmost haste. There are plenty of finishing schools around.
Please,for your own good, for Freddies sake and for your future involvement with the Bourne family, do something as soon as possible.
Here are a few examples of your lack of manners:

• Whenyou are a guest in anothers house, you do not declare what you will and will not eat unless you are positively allergic to something. Youdo not remark that you do not have enough food. You do not start beforeeveryone else. You do not take additional helpings without being invited to by your host.
• Whena guest in anothers house, you do not lie in bed until late morning inhouseholds that rise early you fall in line with house norms.
• Youshould never ever insult the family you are about to join at any time and most definitely not in public. I gather you passed this off as a joke but the reaction in the pub was one of shock, not laughter.
• You should have hand-written a card to me. You have never written to thank me when you have stayed.
• You regularly draw attention to yourself. Perhap! s you sh ould ask yourself why.
• No one gets married in a castle unless they own it. It is brash, celebrity style behaviour.

Iunderstand your parents are unable to contribute very much towards the cost of your wedding. (There is nothing wrong with that except that convention is such that one might presume they would have saved over theyears for their daughters marriages.)
Ifthis is the case, it would be most ladylike and gracious to lower your sights and have a modest wedding as befits both your incomes.