UK royal succession laws: What about equal rights for the rest of us?

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Lets give a muted cheer that female members of the Royal Family are to be given equal rights of succession, but it wont benefit the lives of ordinary women.

David Cameron can crow as much as he likes about ensuring the contents of the Duchess of Cambridges womb will get a fairer start in life but female voters who are not going to breed a future monarch are increasingly turned off by his policies.

The Prime Minister has a problem he doesnt connect with women and modernising the monarchy is an irrelevance.

Royal equality: If Prince William and his wife Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, have a daughter first, she will be able to succeed the throne

If Cameron wants to do one thing to demonstrate he understands women, he can stop bleating that he wants our leading businesses to appoint more female directors and take the decisive step of imposing quotas.

It will cost absolutely nothing except courage and strength of purpose, something this former PR man seems to lack.

Its funny how a certain kind of male feminist always understands womens concerns, but is weirdly unable to do anything concrete to support them. Cameron is too cosy with his ex-mates in the City and the (male) millionaires who bankroll his party to rock the boat.

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Consider the irrefutable evidence: over the last 30 years, the number of female workers has exploded from 30per cent to 50per cent of the total.

That rise in economic clout has not been paralleled in the boardroom. We are the biggest group of consumers, yet cruelly powerless.

Masses of research shows that boards with female non-executive directors perform better and are more productive. If you want further proof, look at the huge success of Burberry, where women hold the top jobs. Its a world leader and an iconic brand.

Lord Davies of Abersoch wrote a feeble report for the Government recommending that a quarter of FTSE100 board members should be female by 2015.

Note, he did not suggest a quota, but asked companies to tell him of their plans to achieve this goal by last September. Only two-thirds replied thats how bothered they were! Of these, only half actually set out plans to increase female representation. A waste of everyones time.

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The number of women on FTSE100 boards has crept up from 12per cent to 14per cent Lord Davies quota will take 20 years at this rate. As for the FTSE250, the number of female non-executive directors has crept up from 7 per cent to under 10 per cent a shocking indictment of the mindset at the top in British industry. Half of all FTSE250 companies have no women on their boards, which makes me furious as hell.

One FTSE chairman, Simon Murray of Glencore, said recently women are not as ambitious in business as men because they have better things to do... like bringing up their children and other things. Wi! th Neand erthals like that at the helm, we are truly in the Dark Ages.

Consider Associated British Foods a hugely successful conglomerate of household names, from Primark to Twinings tea to Silver Spoon sugar and Sunblest Bread. The prime purchasers of all these products are ordinary women and yet the company has not seen fit to appoint a single one to its main board.

I suggest we simply boycott these companies and stop buying their products until they redress the balance. If the owners of Associated British Foods treat us with contempt, we should hit them where it hurts: at the cash tills.

Last week, when it emerged that FTSE100 directors have awarded themselves obscene pay increases of 49per cent (their salaries now average 2.9 million a year), the PM was bleating on about women again, saying if there were more on the boards, these bloated pay rises wouldnt happen.

If he feels that strongly, why doesnt he follow France and Norway and impose quotas of 40 per cent? The fact is, Cameron has signed up for picknmix feminism.

He picks the policies that dont cost anything and dont offend his mates or George Osborne. His advisor Steve Hilton wants to scrap maternity pay, and a report by the venture capitalist Adrian Beecroft thinks they should slash any extension to maternity leave to protect struggling businesses.

Previously, parents on low incomes working more than 16 hours a week were eligible for support covering 80 per cent of their childcare costs. In April the Coalition cut this support to 70 per cent, and (after a huge outcry) last week announced they are bunging another 300million back into the pot to help poorer families, but that wont kick in until 2013.

The proposed cuts to our massive legal aid bill will impact on women far more than men: as separating couples are denied legal support, abusive partners could end up representing themselves in court and be allowed to cross-examine their wives and girlfriends.

No wonder ! women ar ent interested in Mr Cameron we can see through his lightweight interpretation of girl power.

Pull the plug on your 1m bath, Tamara

Spoilt: Tamara Ecclestone

Tamara Ecclestone represents all that is most unsavoury about unearned wealth.

The sight of this 27-year-old bimbos wardrobe with hundreds of thousands of pounds worth of handbags and rows of designer shoes is repulsive.

Shes received millions from her billionaire dad Bernie to start her off in life, was recently photographed covered in 50 notes for fun and has splashed out 1million on a crystal bath.

Mindful that she might be seen as a spoilt brat who admits she usually only wears clothes once Tamara has let it be known she is organising a charity event for Great Ormond Street Hospital.

I have a better idea why not cancel the event, do unpaid work helping at the hospital and raise millions by selling the contents of her wardrobe and the silly bath?

Charity events are an acceptable form of social networking for airheads like Tamara and replace the need to do a real days work helping the less fortunate.

Joanna's ab flab diet

One meal a day: Joanna Lumley

Joanna Lumley might be an Official National Treasure, but her eating plan is daft.

She skips breakfast and lunch, eats a massive dinner and then goes straight to bed.

What does she do with all that time shes saved by not eating cereal, having a mid-morning snack or enjoying lunch with a girlfriend?

Dont tell me she uses it to campaign for worthy causes.

Ill throw up.

Or eat another of my partners delicious Halloween finger biscuits, complete with almond nails.

BBC's office plan should be binned

! Avaluabl e insight into the bonkers world of the BBC comes from the man overseeing the moveto its new building in Salford, Peter Salmon.

Theopen-plan space contains thought pods where employees can hold impromptu meetings but no litter bins. Theyll have to hot-desk and keep their belongings in a locker.

Accordingto Salmon, not having your own bin makes people move around a bit moreand learn new things about different ways of working. If people become territorial, they tend to work in less efficient ways.

Abit rich from a chap who isnt planning to move his family to Salford. Where do staff chuck their unwanted ideas? Eat them to save on lunch?

Stodge, however you wrap it up

Notice how the word wrap no longer applies to a snack that has any claims to being healthy.

Whenever Im feeling a bit flabby, I choose a wrap over a sarnie hoping to cut calories.

Unhealthy start to the day: McDonalds breakfast wrap

This is pointless, as wraps have become a feel-good way to envelope a load of stodge.

McDonalds has launched a breakfast wrap holding a sausage, bacon, egg, cheese and potato. Why not chuck in black pudding, mushrooms and baked beans and have done with it?

Control underwear is a booming business. Once we wore clingy pants to hide our tums, then men got special tops to flatten their moobs. The latest invention is a T-shirt called Thingo (9 at Asda) that promises to flatten bingo wings. Why not go the whole hog and develop an adult size babygrow that we just roll into as we flop out of bed? As long as it incorporates a flap for toilet trips, we can be streamlined from dawn to dusk.

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