Amy Winehouse's mother Janice: The day before her death she said 'I love you'
Amy Winehouse's tiny frame was clad in old tracksuitbottoms and a T-shirt, the clothing she favoured when she wasnt planning toleave the house. Without her trademark heavy black eyeliner and beehive wig,she looked younger than her 27 years, but she bustled around the kitchen of herCamden home like a proud housewife, making tea for her mother Janis and Janisspartner, Richard.
For Janis, the impromptu visit to her daughters home onJuly 22 was enjoyable but utterly ordinary. They drank their Earl Grey andchatted, as they had done countless times before. It was only the followingday, when the singer was discovered dead in the house, that Janis mentallyreplayed every moment of the afternoon, giving thanks that she had seen Amy onelast time and searching in vain for clues that anything was amiss.
Im so grateful to have seen Amy the day before. It wasso important, she says. She was fine. She had what I call an Amy look shenormally slept a lot and often looked like shed just been woken up. She wasplanning to go to a wedding the next day and the lounge was covered in dressesshed put out so her stylist Naomi could pick one for her to wear.
Close: Amy Winehouse and mother Janis during her performance for the Grammy awards in 2008
Shed been looking through some old family photos, whichwere scattered around, and she kept looking at one of herbrother and saying, Oh Mum, Alex was such a lovely baby, wasnt he? Shealways enjoyed nostalgia. She chatted about her boyfriend, Reg, and about myhealth, as I suffer from ! multiple sclerosis.
When we left, she hugged me and said, I love you,Mummy. She was always calling me that and telling me she loved me. Amy neverreally grew up. She was like a little girl, permanently fixed in time as a kiddie. I said, I love you too.
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Janis, a 56-year-old former pharmacist, shares Amys deepbrown eyes, strong nose and full lips. Her unmistakeable likeness to herdaughter is a reminder that although she is, in many ways, an ordinarymiddle-aged Jewish mother, her experiences over the past few years have beenanything but ordinary.
Unlike her former husband Mitch, who has spoken about Amymany times, Janis has always preferred to remain in the background.
Family: Janis Winehouse, mother of the late singer Amy Winehouse, and Amy as a child aged six.
Now, she says she wants to give a mums view of Amyslife and death, perhaps to reclaim her daughter from the deluge of tributes andrumours since her death.
It was Janis, after all, who brought up Amy and Alexalone after Mitch left when Amy was nine.! I knew her so, so well, she says.Everything she went through, I was there.
It is difficult to imagine how agonising it must havebeen for Janis to witness Amys extraordinary talent transform her into aglobal star, only for her to then descend into an all-consuming drug and alcohol addiction which, at its mostchronic, left her stumbling through the streets, emaciated and bleeding.
Like many others, Janis had wondered many, many times ifAmy would eventually push her body too far. Before her death, though, her fearshad receded.
One of the cruellest aspects of Amys premature death isthat it came when the darkest days of her addictions were behind her. In fact,according to Janis as well as Mitch, the singer had not taken drugs since late2008 and, shortly before her death, hadbeen trying to stop drinking, too.
She says: Amy was someone who, when she made her mind upto do something, would do it. She knew she had to stop the drugs and shemanaged to do it through her own will, which made me very proud.
She carried on drinking but I was just pleased shewasnt taking drugs it was one less thing. Even the drinking,she was on her way to quitting.
Dad: Mitch and Amy Winehouse at home in Southgate, North London, in 1984
Then, in the last week of July on a warm and sunnyafternoon, Amy was found dead.
It was Richard who took the call from Mitchell. He tookme into our bedroom, sat me down and said, Shes gone, your babys gone. Ijust couldnt believe it.
Of course it was something Id considered before but notthen. She was sober at that point in time. I thought she was coming out of it all.
Im close to her minders and they told me she was on herown at home the night before she died. One of them, Andrew, said she was up inher room bangi! ng on a drum, and he went up to say, Youve got to stop thatbecause the noise will be disturbing people. He was probably the last personto speak to her.
There were no wild parties. I think it was just a caseof her body saying, OK, Ive had enough.
Tragedy: Police and Amy's car outside her home in Camden Square, North London
The toxicology report states that Amy had no illegalsubstances in her body when she died, although the results of the inquest will not be released untilOctober.
Her family believe that her death may have been theresult of a seizure related to her attempts to give up alcohol. There is nodoubt about the toll Amys lifestyle must have taken on her 4ft 11in body.
Among other ailments, she suffered from the lungcondition emphysema as a result of smoking crack cocaine.
Janis says that after learning of Amys death, she spentdays in a haze of denial. It wasnt until I saw her body two days later that Ireally accepted she was gone. We were all there me, Richard, Alex, Mitch, hiswife Jane and Reg. She was behind glass and I looked at her and thought, Shesat rest.
After everything she went through, I felt a sense ofcomfort that she wasnt in pain any more.
Amy was buried on July 26, in her favourite yellow dress,which she wore when she won her Brit award for Best British Female in 2007, andher beehive. I saw it as Amys party, says Janis. All her friends werethere, and it was a fitting tribute.
Asked how she is coping, she describes herself as atoughie and insists that her grief has not exacerbated her multiple sclerosis,the degenerative disease that means she has to walk with a stick.
Yet she also admits she has mentally distanced herself fromevents for her protection. Understandably, she is reluctant to dwell on Amysp! roblems, preferring to celebrate her outstanding talent and the outpouring ofemotion she has witnessed from her fans, which she says has helped herenormously.
She has received thousands ofletters and cards from well-wishers who didnt know Amybut who had been touched by her music.
Boyfriend: Reg Traviss looks at tributes outside Amy's house as mum Janis photographs them
Janis also takes great comfort from the knowledge thatAmy, for so long a deeply troubled soul, was content in the months before herdeath, having found love with film director Reg Traviss.
Reg is a lovely guy, and I regard him as family now. Amyphoned me the day she first started going out with him and told me, Ive metsomeone, Ive fallen in love. She was trying to have normality with him. Shetalked about wanting the Camden house to be a family home. That would have beenthe next step.
Strikingly, Janis refuses to blame anybody for Amysdeath. By contrast, Mitch has spoken of the hatred he feels for Amys formerhusband, Blake Fielder-Civil, whom she married in May 2007 and who is widely believed to haveintroduced Amy to harder drugs during their chaotic five-year relationship.
Divorce: Amy Winehouse and ex-husband Blake Fielder-Civil
Janis chooses her words about Fielder-Civil carefully.Because Im someone who always speaks nicely about people, on! Blake I ve gotno comment, because Ive got nothing nice to say about him.
Whats done is done. Amy found it very difficult to moveon from him. I hate to say it but it was a case of love is blind. But she didmove on.
Janis is aware some may think she should have done more to help Amy but Janis willtell you how difficult it is to stand in the way of an addict.
I am completely OK with everything I did for Amy, shesays. We tried everything got her into rehab, tried shock tactics such astalking publicly about our fears she would die, but it was all about Amysnature. If Amy made her mind up to do something, she did it. If anyone tried tochange her mind forget it. She was always that way, even when she was alittle girl.
She was a lovely girl, polite and sweet. She was veryloving and affectionate. She adored children and used to talk to me aboutwanting her own babies. But she was also always a naughty girl. We called her anudge, a Yiddish word meaning someone who will push, push, push. She wastrouble waiting to happen.
She was so different to Alex, her older brother by fouryears, who had a high regard for authority.
She is also keen to dispel the notion that Amy was aparty animal whose addictions came as a result of over-indulgence in the darktemptations inherent to the music scene.
She wasnt a party girl, says Janis. When she was achild, there were so many of her birthday parties where shed be sitting in acorner with her arms folded, not enjoying herself at all. She was like aclassic alcoholic, where alcohol is a prop.
Che eky: Amy at six, dressed as Minnie Mouse for the Jewish festival of Purim, and right, aged five
Amys bubbly personality made it difficult for anybody to remain angry with her forlong. Janis recalls one occasion when Amy had been arrested.
She wanted some sweets, so a female police officer said,Amy, Ill get you some. She was singing Fly Me To The Moon, her favouritesong, and making everyone laugh as they tried to take her mugshot. They didntknow where to measure her height from because of her beehive.
She adds: One card I received after Amy died was from afriend shed lost touch with. She mentioned the way Amy would always sing FlyMe To The Moon when she was in trouble, even as a teenager. It was lovely. Itmade me laugh.
Janis wears one of Amys Star of David necklaces and agold ring she wore all the time, but cannot bring herself to listen to Amysmusic on her iPod, or watch any of the television appearances she recorded.
Regret: Tony Bennett wells up as he says he talks of his sadness at not being able to save Amy Winehouse
Despite all her bravery, Richard says she has beendistraught at times. And Janis admits: At night-time, just before I get in theshower, when Im alone, it hits me.Last Wednesday would have been Amys 28th birthday. For Janis it was aday of reflection spent quietly at home with Richard. It was also the day theAmy Winehouse Foundation was launched with Janiss support to provide help for young people in need, especiallythose with health problems or addictions.
Janis had just returned home from a trip to America, where she was promoting thecharity. She met singer Tony Bennett, with whom Amy recorded a duet called BodyAnd Soul before her death. He was so compliment! ary abou t her singing and herunderstanding of the music, she says. From a legend like him, it was lovelyto hear that.
I know it sounds silly, but there was also a moment atJFK airport on the way home that helped me. We were sitting eating and afeather floated down on to the table. At the same moment, Amys song Rehabstarted playing over the tannoy. I thought, Thats Amy.
In truth, it is the thought of Amys musical legacy thatis keeping Janis going the idea that she was loved by millions who willensure that she lives on through her songs.
I ask if she wishes Amy had never been born with heramazing voice and had been just an ordinary girl.
She thinks for a moment, then says: No, because that washer path, that was her life. I cant imagine her without that voice. She wasalways singing, she didnt stop.
I can remember when she was a teenager, Mitchell and Iwent to see her in an amateur dramatics performance at the Everyman Theatre inHampstead. She had a solo and we looked at each other and said, Wow, shesgood isnt she?
Amy achieved everything she set out to in her career,all by herself, and I have such a sense of pride. When I saw all the fansoutside her house after her death, I thought, Theyre all here because theyrefans of my baby. What shes left behind, her music, will last longer than anyof us.
- www.amywinehousefoundation.co.uk
Talent: Amy Winehouse performs at the Glastonbury festival
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