Boys' night out may be key to happy marriage
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You book the theatre tickets, organise dinner with friends and remind him to have his hair cut this weekend.
But new research shows busybody wives to try to micro-manage their husbands social lives may be storing up problems.
US scientists found men who do not have enough spare time to spend with their own friends, can feel less attracted to their partner.
They say wives who have steadily cut theties with their husbands old friends in favour of having dinner parties with other couples can erode mens feelings of masculinity and lead to conflict within the relationship.
The authors said there is nothing wrong with the wife doing most of the organizing of their social activities as women tend to be more organized.
But they said reducing his contact with his friends to the point that all your socialising is done together can be dangerous. It suggests wives should encourage their husbands to spend time alone with male friends even the ones they dont like.
Professor Benjamin Cornwell, of Cornell University added: There is a bit of a gate-keeper aspect that probably troubles some men.
They key issue is whether it reduces his contact with his friends while it increases hers for example she alters his social schedule to the point that his contact with his friends increasingly occurs in the context of couples dinners.
A mans ability to play a round of golf or to have a few drinks with a friend who has only a passing acquaintance to his wife or girlfriend is cruc! ial to p reserving some independence in everyday life.
If he has to bring his wife along every time they meet, or his wife starts monopolising that friend, thats when problems may arise.
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The researchers analysed data from the National Social Life, Health and Aging Project, a 2005 survey of 3,000 people in Chicago, who were aged 57 to 85.
They found the risk of erectile dysfunction was almost doubled in the group whose wives had the most contact with the couples shared friends, even allowing for related health conditions in this age group such as diabetes, heart problems and obesity.
Men in their 50s and 60s were at the highest risk of this, suggesting the older men in the study had different priorities for socialising.
Around 25 per cent of the men surveyed experiences partner betweenness when their partner becomes as close to one of their confidants as they are, in at least one of their relationships with a friend.
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Prof Cornwell added: We were surprised at how powerful the effect was the equivalent of having prostate problems. For these younger men, partner betweenness more than doubled the risk.
Co-author Edward Laumann, a professor of sociology at the University of Chicago said: He needs to have someone to talk to about the things that matter to him whether its football, politics, what car he is going to buy or worries about his health or his job.
The important thing is that he can let it all hang out and know that what he says isnt going to get straight back to his wife.
Last week research from six African countries revealed women who wear the trousers at home may pay for it in the bedroom.
They could find themselves waiting 100 times longer for passion than those who share household decisions about shopping and the weekly budget with their husbands, according to a study from Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health in Baltimore.
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